10 February, 2009

How to win hearts - The Islamic Way

In the name of Allah the beneficent, the Merciful

It is the first arrow and the fastest of them all. It is like the salt for food. It is also regarded as a kind of worship and alms-giving as is mentioned in a hadith
Smiling at your brother's face is as charity (Sadaqa)" (Jami Tirmidhi). "Abdullah ibn al Harith tells us about the Prophet (PBUH) saying that he had never seen someone smile at the other's face as the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) used to do"
(Jami Tirmidhi).

Be always the one who initiates greetings: This arrow is the one that lets you to be in the innermost depths of the others hearts. This arrow needs a skillful shooter. The needed skills are the hearty smile, the warm shaking of hands and the friendly welcoming to the other. Being successfully achieved, such kinds of skills are going to be rewarded, referring to the hadith:
"Those who are nearest to Allah are they who are first to give a salutation "
(Jami Tirmidhi). According to Hadith of Anas when people of Yemen came the Prophet (PBUH) said ,
" The people of Yemen are approaching and they have softer hearts than yours'. (Anas said) " They are the first who came with hand shaking". (Sunan Abu Dawud and Adb ul Mufarad)

Exchanging Presents: It has a strange charming affection that captivates all senses. Hence, exchanging presents and gifts in different occasions is a pleasant habit however gifts should be within one's tolerable expenses.
Aa'ishah (RA) said: "The Messenger of Allaah used to accept gifts and reward people for giving them."
(Sahih Bukhari)

Say something Good or remain silent:
Loud voice and chattering are bad merits. You have to be sweet-worded, tender in expressing yourself. A good word has its own magic in winning the hearts of your enemies, how powerfully it would work then with your brothers' hearts!! "Repel (Evil) with what is better: Then will he between whom and thee was hatred become as it were thy friend and intimate "
(Surah Fussilat 41:34) .The Prophet (PBUH) said, "Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day should speak good or be silent"
(Mawtta Imam Malik). Abu Abdullah Jadali
reported that he asked Sayyidah Aisha (RA) about the manners of Allah's Messenger She said,
He was never indecent of speech or of manners. He never spoke loudly in the markets. And, he never returned evil with evil, but he forgave and overlooked.' (Jami Tirmidhi)

Be a good listener:
Listen patiently and never interrupt the speaker, as the Prophet (PBUH) never interrupted a speaker till he ended his speech. And he who fights for this merit gains others love and admiration, whilst on the contrary is the one who chatters and interrupts the other.

Appearance and dressing well:
You have to be careful with your appearance so as to be neat, well–dressed and sweet smelling as well. The Prophet (PBUH) says that "Allaah is beautiful and he love beauty"
(Masnad Ahmed).

Being in others favor and helping them:
Good treatment classifies you as an obedient, beloved slave of Allaah. Allaah says in the Qur'an:
"And spend of your substance in the cause of Allaah, and make not your own hands contribute to (your own) destruction; but do good; for Allah loveth those who do good"(Surah Al-Baqarah 2:195). Sayyidina Abu Dharr (RA) reported that Allah's Messenger (SAW) said,
"Your smile your brother is a sadaqah for you, and your enjoining piety and forbidding evil is a sadaqah. Your guiding one who is lost on the land is a sadaqah for you. Your leading the blind is a sadaqah for you. Your removing from the thoroughfare a stone, a thorn or a bone is for you a sadaqah. And, your filling with your bucket the bucket of your brother is a sadaqah for you."
(Jami Tirmidhi)

Being Generous:
Offering money is the key for most of the closed doors that hinder you from reaching others hearts, especially in these days. Now I will tell you a story about the magic of the merit of generosity. In the conquest of Makkah, there was a man called "Safwan Ibn Umia". That man ran away after making all possible means in keeping the people of Islam and after making conspiracies to kill the Prophet (PBUH). Later on, the Prophet (PBUH) forgave him and he came back asking the Prophet (PBUH) to give him the time of two months to think about Islam and the Prophet (PBUH) said, "You can take four months, not just two". In spite of being an atheist, he accompanied the Prophet (PBUH) in the Hunain and Al Ta'if conquests. In Al Ta`if, while the Prophet (PBUH) was dividing the booties of the war, he noticed that man looking longingly to a vast land in which a large number of cattle were flocking. The Prophet (PBUH) asked him, "Do you like it?" The man eagerly answered "Yes." The Prophet (PBUH) said, "It is for you then." Safwan said, "Only a prophet could behave as generously as you have. I believe that there is no god but Allaah and that Muhammad is His Prophet." Notice how the Prophet (PBUH) found the missing key and succeeded in moving his heart. Some people behave stingily as if they see the ghost of poverty waiting to attack them once they think about being generous in offering money.

To have a good opinion of others and to give them an excuse:
Keeping an eye on others behavior is a bad merit that blocks your way to their hearts. On the contrary is to have a good opinion of them. So, try hard to give your brothers the excuse as much as you can. Concerning this merit, Ibn Al Mubarak says,
"The believer is he who gives his brothers the excuse, and the hypocrite is he who seeks their slips." Quran says
" O ye who believe! Avoid suspicion as much (as possible): for suspicion in some cases is a sin: And spy not on each other behind their backs." (Surah Hujraat 49:12)

Express your feelings:
If you love someone, or have good feelings about him, don't wait, just tell him at once. Regarding this Allah's Messenger (SAW) said,
"If one of you loves his brother, let him inform him about it."
(Sahih Bukhari)
Prophet (PBUH) also said "
A good dream is from Allah, so if anyone of you saw a dream which he liked, he should not tell it to anybody except to the one whom he loves."

(Sahih Bukhari)

Author : Muhammad Awais Tahir

Send your comments and suggestions at Muhammad.Awais.Tahir@gmail.com




  1. very intresting facts brother...but i am in a problem...i m in love with a girl...should i tell her...she is my friend and we r good friends

  2. Brother thats not what islam teaches nor encourages.....u can send a proposal for marriage and go about in the halaal way...
    But talking such things is wrong....and that too the girl doesnt have a mehram with her...

  3. very intresting facts brother...but i am in a problem...i m in love with a girl...should i tell her...she is my friend and we r good friends

  4. Expressing your feelings here does not mean that you tell the opposite sex how much you love them (unless they are mahram, of course). It is being encouraged to reveal your love to your brother (male friends/brothers)